Wavelength Comic by Ben Klingberg

I’m currently torn. It’s a sunny day and I’ll need to take the thing home eventually. Yes, that umbrella with the neon fish patterns on it unsettles some deep-seated part of the human psyche that draws comfort and strength from conforming to the pack-mentality of black, utilitarian collapsible umbrellas.

The little bright-orange guppy and his bubble blowing highlight a sense of fun and frivolity, but when that little fish and his friends bob up and down the street with the patter of rain against the canvas while casting a shadow on the palour of stoic, manly sufference planted on the face of the umbrella’s owner, all they do is betray a deep-seated insecurity on behalf of the wearer.

Clearly it can be seen that the neon fish umbrella is the kryptonite of manliness.

Alternatively, instead of waxing poetic on my own insecurities I could duck into the nearest discount variety shop and grab a black umbrella for four bucks.

Mmmm… Nah.